Sunday, September 16, 2007

a cup of tea & a ramble ( no, it's not a tea time pastry)

"Imagination's playing round for free
In my world I take him out for tea
Oh my God, can't say no

Skipping school, go walk for air
I just had to get out of bed
I'm on overload in my head

Train comes I don't know its destination
It's a one-way ticket to a madman's situation"


So during tea with my imagination, we get into a deep topic of conversation...

LIFE is what you make of it...( so I've been reminded by someone wiser than I :)) What comes to mind when you think of the local Singaporean kid? OK, here's how my train of thought looks like in my mind--->>----->

SG kid--> government school--> studying + spectacles--> exams + tests--> SQUARE--> "Ma & Pa says " study hard...all the way until cannot study anymore. Be a doctor, get the 5 Cs (very important)" --> *SCREEECH* >

Tell me I'm wrong about this but I've come to observe that a lot of kids don't know really, what exactly it is that they are interested in & will want to do FOR LIFE so they end up spending their parents cash on all the diplomas, degrees in the world just so they have a long list of alphabets before/after their name. So they've got this safety net because they can't think of what they want ( WHY? because they've never been allowed that chance to try & venture out...wonder about all the "What ifs". I'm really lucky I've been brought up to question "why this, why that, what if I...", but as much as my parents encourage all that... They made sure I knew I had to bear the consequences ( if at all there were any).

What I want to do & where I should go has been pretty clear the minute I discovered the lines I drew looked really good compared to the boy/girl sitting next to me in primary school *AHEM* & right here today as I'm writing this post, I've in hand 3 years of fine tuning my art + design skills in graphic/advertising design & it's not that I'm bored with what I'm doing..if anything else, my love & beliefs in graphic/advertising design have grown by leaps n bounds (picture me singing " THE HILLS ARE ALIVE~ with the sound of...my mouse clicking). HOW & WHY am I thinking about all this now u might ask? It's because I'm at this point in my life where I'm questioning who I am (again) & I just need the time right now to find myself ( WAIT wait..hold up..how did this start?) I'm nursing 2 bad injuries & it's not been easy keeping at the pace I've been working at, keeping up all my work to meet the deadlines. Frankly, my work's piling up & I have no choice still but to rest in between all the chaos then I started thinking...( taking into consideration A LOT of other issues):

1) Who's Jessica?
2) Do I still want what I wanted 3 years ago?
3) What am I capable of?
4) Am I where I want to be?
5) Is there something missing in my life right now? & what is/are they?
6) u know...& more questions like that :P ( I'm not gonna tell u all of em =x)---> GET UR OWN GOSSIP! :P

I'm no big daredevil or one for taking blind risks ( & i think most people aren't) but I calculate the risks involved & am always weighing the pros + cons for everything (I'm a darn weighing scale/balance for god's sake!). If there is one thing though, is that I DARE...take off my shoes & walk barefooted down orchard road...LOL im jk ;) So I've decided I NEED TO DO THIS..to find myself & get those questions answered. Look, stepping on the brakes while on the road to gaining a step to securing financial stability for myself can wait..I'm young, I've got my whole life ahead of me to finish where i left off..I'm not gonna be one of the spoon fed kids that have no minds/opinions or legs of their own to stand on ( never was, never will be & I'm NEVER gonna let my kids turn out that way *amen*)

**we pause to interrupt you with this fairly entertaining question** TRUE OR FALSE?---> " I don't think creative minds were ever spoon fed kids." *pause..take a moment to wonder about it* :P (GOOD..see you're starting to think like me..*COUGH!*)



"more tea sir?"

"no thank you. I had fun."

"Pleasure was all mine. Let's do this again. ;)"

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