From a place I've kept buried

Things happen to you all the time. Sometimes what you try running so far from comes right after you faster than you know it & wham! It hits you. When you have one too many hits, it starts wearing you down. I always thought " well as long as the other person's gonna be as willing as I am to work things out, there will be a solution & I'll find it. For sure things will work out" <--That's young naive youthful optimism right there.

But today I realized...even though I may be willing to work through a problem, not everyone is as willing. They may say so but never follow through & I have just had it up to *here* with empty bubbles of hope I carry around ever so quietly cuz I'm afraid of someone finding out I had hoped for something. Why? I don't really know.

Nothing is ever quite as it you picture it to be. Hardly ever... & I know this first hand.

Somewhere in the middle of today, I realized a lot of human activities were made for 2. It truly does take 2 to clap. Everything works as a chain reaction from something else. I'm not perfect, no where near it & I'm not afraid to take ownership for being such a huge twit.

I think I owe someone an apology for some of the things I've said...( no this isn't my public declaration speech of "wrong doings" lol. But it's me biting my tongue in front of the whole world) This is for you & you know who you are...

"Each confession I make
Translates to you as an insult
We must rid ourselves of this habit.
I once heard you say you'll never love anyone more.
Then why am I still fighting you?
And it's never felt like this before
No we've never fought like this before...
But you should know

That I am on your side
I am on your side.
Although it may seem useless
I am on your side.

Your hands are bearing, worn down to the bone.
But you're still holding on me.
So I tighten my grip.
By god, I won't let you slip.
But can you breathe this way?
And it's never felt like this before.
No, we've never fought like this before...

And I am on your side.
I am on your side.
Although it may seem useless
I am on your side"

I'm still on your side. I'm really sorry.