What happens to an overworked creative soul?

Bless his soul.

EXAMS! They were over with slower than they arrived

hello all,
I have to apologize for disappearing and not posting..I've not died yet; I was out of my mind busy with exams! I had my entry exam for graphic design on tuesday and with good news too (i'm so happy). But here, the above drawing was a pictorial presentation of who i am, how i am without being literal. Take note of the style used and color placement ;)


This one here was the 2nd assignment I had to prepare for the entry exam too and it's my interpretation of a tree. My idea of a tree ( again not in the literal sense) after doing a little literature research. The dutch phrase translates to " absorbed by wrath?" My interpretation of the idea of a tree from a poem by William Blake:

A Poison Tree by William Blake

I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I watered it in fears
Night and morning with my tears,
And I sunned it with smiles
And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night,
Til it bore an apple bright,
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine.

And into my garden stole
When the night had veiled the pole;
In the morning, glad, I see
My foe outstretched beneath the tree.

XxX

I took a break from work to well...create "more work"

As the title says so... I broke out this baby & my sales pitch? Well, read on.

Mom & Pop
They will @#$! you up
For Sure
Love so deep
Kills you in your sleep. It's true.

Love keeps us together
Love will keep us alive

And we- are criminals that never
broke no laws
And all- we needed was a net
to break our fall

They're searching for diamonds
They're grabbin' at straws
Sex 'n' sin
Sax 'n' violins
It's heaven
Wooden heads
Furniture with legs
For sale-

Love keeps us together.
And love will drive us insane.


AH..yes well, "touche" i say.
xOxO, Peace out..

you bright young thing, this is your talk show on mute

Dear blogger,

tonight seems a good night to blog. Not that I usually publicly air my thoughts...no. I don't air my dirty leather ( my new "it" material lol). LIFE, geez, it's such a wide topic to ramble on about. My life alone is one heck of a story...I think the producer(s) of "The Ring" would call me up to buy my life story over & name it " The Life". It'll be a blockbuster horror film of the year. It'll start out with an interview *camera's rolling*..."The late night show with David Letterman" (b'cause that's when all my thoughts usually start pouring in like I'm god listening to a light year full of #$%!)

letterman: hi, it's so nice to have you on tonight's show..I understand you're strapped for time so
let's get right down to business.

bright young thing: Right. Fire away.

Letterman: So I understand your life's taken a rather drastic turn from where you had it heading. What's the deal? What happened?

BYT: Umm yeah...Shit happens, that's life eh? People whom I thought had my back fled like I started a plague. So I'm standing alone in this pile of #$%! & not a soul is brave enough to take a leap & grab my hand while I'm hanging off the cliff. There are 2 ways out-> A) I take their hand but at the price of me surrendering my latest pair of Cheap Mondays & YSL high tops which mean the world to me. I mean in essence, they'll be stripping me down to what?! I won't be me anymore. B) #$%! 'em all right...& just break all the nails i've got clinging on to the rockwall. Rock climb my way back up which probably means i'll get there tomorrow night, rip rip my Cheap Mondays. I won't know if i'll survive it b'cause it'll take pretty long...I'll be dead tired & there's a
high chance I could quit on myself & let go. So I chose B.

Letterman: No shit. Do you regret your route you chose now though?

BYT: Yes & no. I've got to a certain extent my freedom. But I've fallen far from my destination. Will I ever get back on course & reach there? I've no idea & I can only hope & swear on my life, I'll make it work.

Letterman: Word.

BYT: *smiles & leans back into the seat*

Letterman: So you've done a couple of great things since though. Don't you think your making some progress with your work/life..what have yous?

BYT: Well yeah fo sho?! I exhibited in NY. Just being invited was like a bright ray of light finally hit my eye b'cause I've been staring at this sun for so long. But I'm still a really long way off from where I wanna be, u know? And I'm going at it all on my own. Where I come from...what I'm doing is looked at as being in a dream...

Letterman: I know. Square pieces of #$%! I totally get you. I wanted to be a rockstar but old
with grey sideburns couldn't cut it.

BYT: haha yes well I'd still date you. You're one funny #$$ & since you get me, our convos ain't gonna be dull.

Letterman: Well check with my wife. Maybe she'll share?

BYT: Nah, it's cool.

Letterman: In a previous interview for Nylon where you fronted the cover (Kudos), I read about what you want from life . Are they all the same still? What's changed & why?

BYT: Yes, it's changed. I don't wanna be a rich #$%! (not that being richer is bad but..) I'll be really satisfied with my life if I'm able to live a decent life doing what I do best. I'd like really to be living on an island with a yacht that takes me out to a quaint lil city. Know of any?

Letterman: Nope. If I do, I'll call ya.

BYT: Cool.

Letterman: If you could describe your life in a sentence...What would it be?

BYT: "Maybe this has all been some really weird dream while I'm passed out in an alley in Amsterdam, still high."

Letterman: High? from being over visually stimulated? I read it in a previous interview that you
get your high from being visually stimulated.

BYT: Hell yeah, hahaha. From being high from visual over stimulation & not being able to express it all. This world I live in is too square. They don't have the chops to take what I'm about to dish out.

Letterman: No shit. I wanted to suntan on my lawn wearing nothing but a silver g-string. My neighbour from across yelled "god letterman, if your chops were nice to look at, I wouldn't mind all that much. Do me a favour & save my eyesight!"

BYT: no kidd.

Letterman: Well, that's all we've time for tonight. I look forward to seeing your work out some day. Watch out, this one's hot.


She takes off her YSL high tops, signs em & hands em to letterman. With everyday that passes, with every talk show that's on mute in my head...a part of me dies.

til the next ramble,
xoxo

When you're an ocean & a rock away...

What you at? My gentle spoken friend
I lack a frame to put you in
When you're an ocean and a rock away

I feel you in the pocket of my overcoat
My fingers wrap around your words
They take the shape of games we play

I feed your words through my buttonholes
Pin them to my fingerless gloves
Green & prone to fraying

Thoughts of you warm my bones
I'm on my way, I'm on the phone
Let's get lost, you & me
An ocean & a rock is nothing to me.

I am far away from where you lay
Awake the day while you fall to sleep
An ocean & a rock away.

I keep you in the pocket of my jeans
And the bristles of my brushes
Spin you into my curls today

I spoon you into my coffee cup
Spin you through a delicate wash
I wear you all day

Thoughts of you warm my bones
I'm on my way, I'm on the phone
Let's get lost, you & me
An ocean & a rock is nothing to me

Thoughts of you warm my bones
I'm on my way, I'm nearly home
Let's get lost, you & me
An ocean & a rock is nothing to me


Is it not any wonder that when you're far away, they want you near. And when you're there...right under their noses, they don't bother where you are, how you are where you are. Only for you to leave suddenly and they come chasing " wait wait. But we've not shared our time together. wait, not so soon."

My talkshow on mute

Take a bow
Pack on powder
Wash 'em out with buzzing lights
Pay an audience to care
"Impress me" Personality

Still & transfixed
The electric sheep are dreaming of your face
Enjoy you from the chemical
Comfort of America

Come one, Come all
Into nineteen eighty-four
Yeah three, two, one...
Lights, camera , transaction

Quick your time is almost up
Make all forget that they're the moth
Edging in towards the flame
Burning to Obscurity

Still & transfixed
The electrics sheep are dreaming of your face
We judge you from the card castle
Comfort of America

Come one, Come all
Into nineteen eighty-four
Yeah three, two, one...
Lights, camera...
Yeah.
Come one, Come all
Into nineteen eighty-four
Yeah three, two, one...
Lights, camera, transaction

Lights, Camera, transaction...

Your foundation is canyoning
Fault lines should be worn with pride
I hate to say it (but)
You're so much more
You're so much more
endearing with the sound
turned off.

Oh, Where were you?

I was a backing track.
Saving my green voice's back.
Disguising the obvious,
That I had no-one to sing for.
I lived in a paper bin.
Which I lived curled up and forgotten in.
With an unfinished lovers hymn
Tattooed on my forehead.

Oh, oh, oh, where were you?
Had I known you then,
The outcome would have been better.

I got used to the treadmill love
Where no matter how fast you run,
You're stuck at the starting point,
Only exhausted.
I was the anonymous author
Of songs I'd not dared to share.
Lacking the audience of a lover's ear.

Oh, oh, oh,
Oh, oh, oh, where were you?
Had I know you then,
The outcome would have been better.

You could have prevented this.
You could have prevented this.
You could have prevented this.
You could have prevented this.

You could have prevented this.
You could have prevented this.
You could have prevented this.
You could have prevented -

Oh, oh, oh, where were you?
Had you known me then,
The outcome would have been better.

xoxo

New Year's morning...

New year's morning came too soon
It’s entering my forgotten room
Disguised as the morning sun
and I should be on the run
But I’m here
Waiting for you
To come and rescue me
From this awful blue

Looks like another day
In another way
Through another place
Too many lonely days
I’m not here for sure
Just here for more
You wont walk through that door
Cause I said I didn’t need you anymore
Anymore…

simply said...

Simply said, simply done

Only chasing things with cost to run

Those wings above, always waiting to be...

just enough.

And I can't even say everybody thinks this way

But they do, yes they do...

Somebody, somebody else..

Somebody, somebody else...please?

gentlemen who only aim to please

When you got things they want

They don't care what you need...

Ladies with such defense spark 

skies a live in strokes of art.

I can't even say everybody thinks this way

But they do, yes they do...

Somebody, somebody else please?

Somebody, somebody else

Somebody, somebody else please?

Simply said, simply done

only chasing things with cost to run

those stars above, always waiting to be...

just enough.

And I can't say everybody thinks this way

But they do...

Yes they do...

Life...It's just a thought, only a thought...

I haven't ever really found a place that I call home

I never stick around quite long enough to make it

I apologize that once again I'm not in love

But it's not as if I mind that your heart ain't exactly breaking

It's just a thought, only a thought...

I've always thought that I would love to live by the sea

To travel the world alone and live more simply

I have no idea what's happened to that dream

Cos there's really nothing left here to stop me

It's just a thought, only a thought...

While my heart is a shield and I won't let it down

While I am so afraid to fail so I won't even try

Well how can I say I'm alive

It's just a thought, only a thought...

a cup of tea & a ramble ( no, it's not a tea time pastry)

"Imagination's playing round for free
In my world I take him out for tea
Oh my God, can't say no

Skipping school, go walk for air
I just had to get out of bed
I'm on overload in my head

Train comes I don't know its destination
It's a one-way ticket to a madman's situation"

So during tea with my imagination, we get into a deep topic of conversation...

LIFE is what you make of it...( so I've been reminded by someone wiser than I :)) What comes to mind when you think of the local Singaporean kid? OK, here's how my train of thought looks like in my mind--->>----->

SG kid--> government school--> studying + spectacles--> exams + tests--> SQUARE--> "Ma & Pa says " study hard...all the way until cannot study anymore. Be a doctor, get the 5 Cs (very important)" --> *SCREEECH* >

Tell me I'm wrong about this but I've come to observe that a lot of kids don't know really, what exactly it is that they are interested in & will want to do FOR LIFE so they end up spending their parents cash on all the diplomas, degrees in the world just so they have a long list of alphabets before/after their name. So they've got this safety net because they can't think of what they want ( WHY? because they've never been allowed that chance to try & venture out...wonder about all the "What ifs". I'm really lucky I've been brought up to question "why this, why that, what if I...", but as much as my parents encourage all that... They made sure I knew I had to bear the consequences ( if at all there were any).

What I want to do & where I should go has been pretty clear the minute I discovered the lines I drew looked really good compared to the boy/girl sitting next to me in primary school *AHEM* & right here today as I'm writing this post, I've in hand 3 years of fine tuning my art + design skills in graphic/advertising design & it's not that I'm bored with what I'm doing..if anything else, my love & beliefs in graphic/advertising design have grown by leaps n bounds (picture me singing " THE HILLS ARE ALIVE~ with the sound of...my mouse clicking). HOW & WHY am I thinking about all this now u might ask? It's because I'm at this point in my life where I'm questioning who I am (again) & I just need the time right now to find myself ( WAIT wait..hold up..how did this start?) I'm nursing 2 bad injuries & it's not been easy keeping at the pace I've been working at, keeping up all my work to meet the deadlines. Frankly, my work's piling up & I have no choice still but to rest in between all the chaos then I started thinking...( taking into consideration A LOT of other issues):

1) Who's Jessica?
2) Do I still want what I wanted 3 years ago?
3) What am I capable of?
4) Am I where I want to be?
5) Is there something missing in my life right now? & what is/are they?
6) u know...& more questions like that :P ( I'm not gonna tell u all of em =x)---> GET UR OWN GOSSIP! :P

I'm no big daredevil or one for taking blind risks ( & i think most people aren't) but I calculate the risks involved & am always weighing the pros + cons for everything (I'm a darn weighing scale/balance for god's sake!). If there is one thing though, is that I DARE...take off my shoes & walk barefooted down orchard road...LOL im jk ;) So I've decided I NEED TO DO THIS..to find myself & get those questions answered. Look, stepping on the brakes while on the road to gaining a step to securing financial stability for myself can wait..I'm young, I've got my whole life ahead of me to finish where i left off..I'm not gonna be one of the spoon fed kids that have no minds/opinions or legs of their own to stand on ( never was, never will be & I'm NEVER gonna let my kids turn out that way *amen*)

**we pause to interrupt you with this fairly entertaining question** TRUE OR FALSE?---> " I don't think creative minds were ever spoon fed kids." *pause..take a moment to wonder about it* :P (GOOD..see you're starting to think like me..*COUGH!*)



"more tea sir?"

"no thank you. I had fun."

"Pleasure was all mine. Let's do this again. ;)"

StarzZZzz in my eyes, your eyes, their eyes??

they'll be making sure you stay amused
they'll fill you up with drugs and booze
Maybe you'll make the evening news

And when you're tripping over your dreams
They'll keep you down by any means
and by the end of the night you'll be stifling your screams

Since you became a VIPerson
It's like your problems have all worsened
Your paranoia casts aspersions
On the truths you know

And they'll just put you in the spotlight
And hope that you'll do alright
Or maybe not

Now Why do you wanna go put starz in their eyes?
Why you wanna go put starz in their eyes?
so why you wanna go put starz in their eyes?
now why you wanna go put starz in there eyes
starz in their eyes?


Remember they said you'd show them all
Emphasise the rise but not the fall
And now you're playing a shopping mall

Your mum and dad they can't believe
What you appear to have achieved
While the rest of these users are just laughing in their sleeves

Since you became a VIPerson
It's like your problems have all worsened
Your paranoia casts aspersions
On the truths you know

And now the tabloids use your face
To document your fall from grace
And then they'll tell you that that's just the way it goes
That's just the way it goes

Now why do you wanna go and put starz in their eyes?
It's the same old story well they just didn't realise
And it's a long way to come from the dog and duck karaoke machine
And Saturday night's drunken dreams

Now why do you wanna go and put starz in their eyes?
It's the same old story but they just didn't realise
And it's a long way to come from your private bedroom dance routines
And Saturday night's drunken dreams
.....
(When I grow up im going to be famous)

Behind the steel barrier and sequence and glitter
Five inch heels still knee deep in the litter
Each of them a bitter bullshitter,
Wrapped up in the cloak of fake glamour, getting lost in the camera
Well footprints are fools gold, diamonds crusts on their one off plimsolls
So little time for these one off arseholes
Rigour mortis Ken and Barbie dolls,
A pair of big shades and a push up bra,
It's such a short gap between the gutter and stars,
That you've come a long way from the place that you started
So why'd you wanna go and get so down hearted

Welcome to the kingdom of the blagger
Uncutting you nose clean, coating you bladder
A whole lot happier a whole lot sadder,
Used to be satisfied but now you feel like Mick Jagger...

Now why do you wanna go and put starz in their eyes?
It's the same old story well they just didn't realise
And it's a long way to come from the dog and duck karaoke machine
And Saturday night's drunken dreams

Now why do you wanna go and put starz in their eyes?
It's the same old story well they just didn't realise
And it's a long way to come from your private bedroom dance routines
And Saturday night's drunken dreams

My sushi so JUICY

I Just found this really very...(trying to find a word...) Meanwhile, happy reading o_O

"We Ninjas
Not Geishas
My Sushi So Juicy
Dress me up in Yohji
Kawaii Hello Kitty
Drive by in Suzuki
Dance Dance Yakuza
Konichiwa Godzilla
Samurai Hi Hi Hi
So drunk wake up with Bonzai
Harajuku kids in Cosplay
Chotto Matte, where is the Sake?"